The morning was sleepy. Therefore, when Blaž wished me “Subho duto barsha”, “Happy two years” in his own Bengali, I was not sure about what he is referring to. It took me a few seconds to realize that today it is exactly two years I am in Slovenia. And instantly I went through the past two years that made this new country another home of mine.
It was sometime after 1 a.m. in the morning when my flight left the soil on India behind to touch a new land. Sad to leave home and anxious to go somewhere new, my heart was a mixture of different thoughts. It was so much work to make this happen. So many moments were spent in restless apprehension for this, that, finally when it was happening, I was too tired to feel anything at all. The last few days, even the last few hours, were spent busy packing, arranging documents etc etc. Along with that, I was apprehensive about the long journey. I simply wished to rest when I finally boarded the flight. I wished not to think or feel anything. Therefore, soon after the dinner was served, I closed my eyes, planning to get some sleep.
It was early in the morning when I woke up. Through the window, I saw the horizon in the heavenly colors of dawn. And finally for the first time after hours I actually realized I am happy. I had wished it so much; I had worked hard for it. There was this anxious and a bit sad feeling; but, in the end, I was happy and looking forward to the new chapter of my journey.
Looking to Slovenia from the sky was beautiful. The ranges of Alps looked beautiful. I loved the little valleys and stretches of green. I loved the autumn colors. The flight touched this new land. And suddenly, while waiting for my luggage, I was scared. I realized that, “this is it”. Scared, nervous and anxious, these were the only words defining my state of mind then. Nothing there was mine yet, it was all new. “I have left my home and am now in a land which is not my home”. This is what I thought. But only for a moment. And then eager to explore the new and make it my own, I stepped out.
As we were driving to the city, I relaxed. I looked around enjoying the beauty. I loved the trees in all shades from fiery red to pale green. I looked at the unfamiliar boards, the roads, the landscape, houses. Everything was so much interesting and so very different from that of India. I was calmer and interested; and by then I was being a tourist.
The initial impression about the country was good. I found it nice and friendly. But it was definitely something different in every aspect. They spoke a language I had no clue about. I could not make any sense out of the billboards, or did not know what to say if I cannot find something particular at the store. The roads were new and so was the right-handed driving. I did not know my way around except from work to home. The food was good but very different. I was meeting Blaz’s family. I was meeting new people at work. Starting with work and getting familiarized with the different work culture. Preparing some further documents. So many things were going on at the same time. And all the along, I was missing India, home. I was missing all things familiar. Coming to here was something I wished, but it was nevertheless hard to adjust.
A couple of months passed by and the winter set in. The city was covered in the blanket of fresh snow and Christmas lights glittered. I was already comfortable in the city. Roads were not anymore just new to me. I had a feeling about my way around. I knew a few words here and there that would help me get around. Work and school were going smooth and easy. I already had a routine of my own. I ventured to explore a bit or simply walk around in the evenings. Also by then I had visited a few parts of Slovenia. As I walked around in the festivity searching for Christmas gifts, I suddenly discovered myself feeling quite at home.
Two years passed by. I now know the city and quite a bit of the language. I know the buildings on my way to work from home. I know where to get particular things. I have my favorite stores, bookstore, ice-cream parlors, restaurants, etc. I know where I love walking most. I have discovered little books stores. I know about the yearly events that I like to attend. I have explored quite a lot of Slovenia in between, and I know my favorite places. I love to walk around in city center after work and visit my favorite bookstore. I love to come to the Saturday fresh market. I simply love the city, the country. And it feels all my own.
So, when I return to Ljubljana after a tiring work trip abroad, I feel glad and relaxed to be back. Not because it is more familiar; but because, it is my own. I feel happy to be back at the place which I call my home. I remember how I stepped out of the same airport two years back, all anxious. But, I cannot remember when I first started to feel at home. I do not know when slowly I have made this new place my own home.
Written on October 9, 2010; the day that marked two years of my coming to Slovenia.
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