My birthday is a special day for me. A day to be happy. A day to treat myself extra specially. A day to be thankful about the best gift ever, life. A special day of celebration, happiness, looking back, fulfillment, new little hopes, big dreams, and most importantly to be aware of ‘I’ and life. And from childhood, this day was celebrated with same eagerness. However the reasons for celebration gradually changed, or rather got added..
For the first birthdays, I only have pictures for memories. The pretty picture of my first birthday with myself decorated in flower ornaments always makes me feel like a princess. Till this day. And of course those birthdays of childhood were parents celebrating their girl. And I remember how jealous I was on my younger brother’s first birthday. My reason was, ‘if I am the elder one, why will his birthday be celebrated before mine!!!’. I was jealous of all the attention, gifts. The reasons why birthdays were special then. And to be honest, two of the reasons why birthdays are still special. Who does not like the whole day attention and the lovely gifts?
Talking about gifts, each birthday I used to get at least a book. My favorite gift. Guests also would mostly brings books, sometimes chocolates, colors for drawing and painting. Parents would buy me a new dress. And the menu will have all my favorite dishes along with the traditional payesh. And then over the weekend, my friend Soumi would be invited for the whole day. Grandma would come with lots of love and something handmade, or a book. I would make a wish over the candle and cut the cake. Those old days of cakes from ‘Jalojog’. I would always like to have the pink rose on the cake, like any other children. And of course would get it. My special day after all. But now I wonder how I could eat that sugary sweet flower! Tastes change and so do ways of celebration.
As the number of candles on the cake increased, the idea of cake lost its appeal. I started to realize it more as a private day. A day of celebration but only with myself and people very close to me. The highlights of the celebration were still the books and the good food. The late riser girl whose parents always had hard time to wake her up even at 9 o’clock, would be the first one to wake up that day. At dawn break my eyes will open, and with great enthusiasm I would search around my pillow for the book. Leaving all presents aside I would pick up the one inside which I would think there is a book. I always loved the few moments trying to guess the book I got that time. Slowly unwrapping it, I would try to read the title in the faint light of dawn. Unable to do so, I would switch on the light. I would touch the book with tender love, and inhale its smell. And then wrapping the blanket around me again, I would start reading the first page in that chilly December morning.
And those are my memories. Finishing a gripping birthday book on the day itself staying awake late at night. Making my favorite sandwich for lunch after returning from school. Telling ma to cook dishes I like. Having the bowl of yummy payesh. Talking to dida, or best, having her by me. Putting colors on a paper painting my thoughts. Spending time with parents. And above everything spending time with myself. Knowing myself a bit better. Appreciating things nice around me. Making a wish and promising myself to fulfill it.
And as years passed by, this became the prime reason of celebration. To be happy with self. It became more and more a private affair than a reason to party. It is now a day when I only wish to be with people I really love and care about. I still want the attention and love, but do not want a party and house full of people. And added to all the gifts was another one. A special gift that I give to myself. Anything that makes me feel special about life. Anything that makes me happy. Like a set of colors and paints to draw. Or something that is fulfillment of a long cherished dream. Like I did on my last birthday...
There is this dream and wish that I had from quite a young age. It always was there, like one big wish. A wish I thought to fulfill someday for sure, but just never knew the correct way. And then I found some way that will be a little step towards this wish. And what can be better than making this small step on my birthday. I took the little first step towards it on my 25th birthday. I gave myself as a gift on my birthday the fulfillment of a dream. 25 is a number, which when counted in years marks milestones in events of our lives. And I beamed as I fulfilled a little part of this wish while I touched the milestone. More reasons of smiles (and tears) were when Blaž gave me a collection of my childhood memories, and I was showered with love and wishes from parents and grandparents. It is the best gift when images of childhood are given as a gift. It is best when grandma exclaims that she cannot believe me to be 25, she remembers me only as the little girl in her lap just the other day. It is best to get a little letter from parents who never know what to write in letters as we talk often. It is best to feel special and loved. But, the bestest gift was one I gave myself. Fulfillment of wish.
Life is all about that, little colorful wishes and feeling special about oneself. And what is birthday but a celebration of life.
I love my birthday and the gifts!!
For the first birthdays, I only have pictures for memories. The pretty picture of my first birthday with myself decorated in flower ornaments always makes me feel like a princess. Till this day. And of course those birthdays of childhood were parents celebrating their girl. And I remember how jealous I was on my younger brother’s first birthday. My reason was, ‘if I am the elder one, why will his birthday be celebrated before mine!!!’. I was jealous of all the attention, gifts. The reasons why birthdays were special then. And to be honest, two of the reasons why birthdays are still special. Who does not like the whole day attention and the lovely gifts?
Talking about gifts, each birthday I used to get at least a book. My favorite gift. Guests also would mostly brings books, sometimes chocolates, colors for drawing and painting. Parents would buy me a new dress. And the menu will have all my favorite dishes along with the traditional payesh. And then over the weekend, my friend Soumi would be invited for the whole day. Grandma would come with lots of love and something handmade, or a book. I would make a wish over the candle and cut the cake. Those old days of cakes from ‘Jalojog’. I would always like to have the pink rose on the cake, like any other children. And of course would get it. My special day after all. But now I wonder how I could eat that sugary sweet flower! Tastes change and so do ways of celebration.
As the number of candles on the cake increased, the idea of cake lost its appeal. I started to realize it more as a private day. A day of celebration but only with myself and people very close to me. The highlights of the celebration were still the books and the good food. The late riser girl whose parents always had hard time to wake her up even at 9 o’clock, would be the first one to wake up that day. At dawn break my eyes will open, and with great enthusiasm I would search around my pillow for the book. Leaving all presents aside I would pick up the one inside which I would think there is a book. I always loved the few moments trying to guess the book I got that time. Slowly unwrapping it, I would try to read the title in the faint light of dawn. Unable to do so, I would switch on the light. I would touch the book with tender love, and inhale its smell. And then wrapping the blanket around me again, I would start reading the first page in that chilly December morning.
And those are my memories. Finishing a gripping birthday book on the day itself staying awake late at night. Making my favorite sandwich for lunch after returning from school. Telling ma to cook dishes I like. Having the bowl of yummy payesh. Talking to dida, or best, having her by me. Putting colors on a paper painting my thoughts. Spending time with parents. And above everything spending time with myself. Knowing myself a bit better. Appreciating things nice around me. Making a wish and promising myself to fulfill it.
And as years passed by, this became the prime reason of celebration. To be happy with self. It became more and more a private affair than a reason to party. It is now a day when I only wish to be with people I really love and care about. I still want the attention and love, but do not want a party and house full of people. And added to all the gifts was another one. A special gift that I give to myself. Anything that makes me feel special about life. Anything that makes me happy. Like a set of colors and paints to draw. Or something that is fulfillment of a long cherished dream. Like I did on my last birthday...
There is this dream and wish that I had from quite a young age. It always was there, like one big wish. A wish I thought to fulfill someday for sure, but just never knew the correct way. And then I found some way that will be a little step towards this wish. And what can be better than making this small step on my birthday. I took the little first step towards it on my 25th birthday. I gave myself as a gift on my birthday the fulfillment of a dream. 25 is a number, which when counted in years marks milestones in events of our lives. And I beamed as I fulfilled a little part of this wish while I touched the milestone. More reasons of smiles (and tears) were when Blaž gave me a collection of my childhood memories, and I was showered with love and wishes from parents and grandparents. It is the best gift when images of childhood are given as a gift. It is best when grandma exclaims that she cannot believe me to be 25, she remembers me only as the little girl in her lap just the other day. It is best to get a little letter from parents who never know what to write in letters as we talk often. It is best to feel special and loved. But, the bestest gift was one I gave myself. Fulfillment of wish.
Life is all about that, little colorful wishes and feeling special about oneself. And what is birthday but a celebration of life.
I love my birthday and the gifts!!
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