'Hi, how are you?' They ask and do not even wait for the answer. And sometimes the answer is repetition of the same question!
We are running everyday and trying to fit in this busy world, leaving us with little time to spare. We are too preoccupied with our own lives to care to know what others are doing. Yet, often when I observe how people greet each other, it never fails to surprise me. A few words, a few lines, somehow are capable of revealing a whole lifestyle.
On way from local market in Kolkata, when you meet your neighbor, despite the presence of the very visible shopping bag, you will hear, 'ki dada, bajar theke firchen (Are you returning from the market)?'. A unique a way to say hello. Often times when there is no time, we offer a friendly smile to a familiar face on the roads. Maybe a 'hi' or 'hello' will accompany the smile if one belongs to the younger generation. When there is a minute to spare both stop to ask 'kemon achen (how are you)?' before departing for their respective destinations. In other cases, a smile and nod of head do the work. Then, one never stops to say hello to a stranger, only maybe a quick smile sometimes is shared. Bengalis do not often care about these too polite formalities; we are more chatty and informal people.
You are in the elevator in your office building in Ljubljana. And as you leave on your floor, you go away saying a 'dan' to wish the others a good day ahead. In Slovenia it can be a friendly 'živjo (hi)' or a bit formal 'jutro (morning)'. Even when one is meeting complete strangers in elevators or on a hiking trail, they pass a quick 'dan', shorter version of dober dan (good day). Depending on the person in front, these compliments are friendly, polite, and sometimes just a formality, following etiquettes. Sometimes when people are meeting a familiar face after long time, they take time to start a little conversation with a 'kako si (how are you)?'. These are friendly, sometimes chatty. It is always so nice to hear the warm and enthusiastic hellos in the less formal settings. But when addressed to a stranger, often times it seem more mechanical to me. Yet, one can get a feeling of belonging together in a same place if the response is a friendly one.
'Hello', 'how are you doing?', 'have a nice one'.. You can hear these one-liners all around San Francisco all the time, addressed to friends, acquaintances, just a known face, and complete strangers. While it can lead to a quick short chat among friends, colleagues who are catching up with each other or discussing business, often times I find it not to be so. Specially with acquaintance or stranger, the lines somehow seems to be thrown to the other person in a hurry. Then without waiting for a response, one moves on. And worst is when the response is just the repetition of the same question. In such cases, it seems not like a polite greeting but a hurried formality dumped on another. It is of course nice and polite to wish people one meets around during the day. However, when people are so rushed, this same act of politeness does not look polite anymore.
When we ask 'how are you?’, except for a few exceptions with close friends and family, we are not really interested in the answer. Both the person asking and the one being asked know it. We all do. This question is more a way to start up a conversation than a sincere one. When people are hurrying to keep in pace with this ultra-fast life, they just try to squeeze out a minute to have a quick chat. People ask how the other person is doing. And these hi-hello-how-are-you chats are always pleasant and fun when there is a moment to spare. But then, why bother to ask 'how are you?' when one is not even pretending to be asking? Then one even gets as an answer just the same question asked back with the similar nonchalant tone. Both rushes off with their life, without waiting for any answer at all. Well, the answer never comes, and actually, no one was expecting an answer in the first place! We cannot possibly spare time to engage in a chat with all the familiar faces we meet each day. However, in such cases a smiling nod, a hi, a good day etc show very well the acknowledgment in a polite manner. Asking a question without wanting to hear an answer or answering back with the same question is strange to me! It is even rude to a certain extent instead of being polite. It may not register to us as we go away in haste. No one thinks about the exchange in any negative way. It is just a style of greetings, a lifestyle. But, in a way it makes the fact more evident that how little we care, if at all. Everyone of us.. And that is one sad thing to realize..
We are running everyday and trying to fit in this busy world, leaving us with little time to spare. We are too preoccupied with our own lives to care to know what others are doing. Yet, often when I observe how people greet each other, it never fails to surprise me. A few words, a few lines, somehow are capable of revealing a whole lifestyle.
On way from local market in Kolkata, when you meet your neighbor, despite the presence of the very visible shopping bag, you will hear, 'ki dada, bajar theke firchen (Are you returning from the market)?'. A unique a way to say hello. Often times when there is no time, we offer a friendly smile to a familiar face on the roads. Maybe a 'hi' or 'hello' will accompany the smile if one belongs to the younger generation. When there is a minute to spare both stop to ask 'kemon achen (how are you)?' before departing for their respective destinations. In other cases, a smile and nod of head do the work. Then, one never stops to say hello to a stranger, only maybe a quick smile sometimes is shared. Bengalis do not often care about these too polite formalities; we are more chatty and informal people.
You are in the elevator in your office building in Ljubljana. And as you leave on your floor, you go away saying a 'dan' to wish the others a good day ahead. In Slovenia it can be a friendly 'živjo (hi)' or a bit formal 'jutro (morning)'. Even when one is meeting complete strangers in elevators or on a hiking trail, they pass a quick 'dan', shorter version of dober dan (good day). Depending on the person in front, these compliments are friendly, polite, and sometimes just a formality, following etiquettes. Sometimes when people are meeting a familiar face after long time, they take time to start a little conversation with a 'kako si (how are you)?'. These are friendly, sometimes chatty. It is always so nice to hear the warm and enthusiastic hellos in the less formal settings. But when addressed to a stranger, often times it seem more mechanical to me. Yet, one can get a feeling of belonging together in a same place if the response is a friendly one.
'Hello', 'how are you doing?', 'have a nice one'.. You can hear these one-liners all around San Francisco all the time, addressed to friends, acquaintances, just a known face, and complete strangers. While it can lead to a quick short chat among friends, colleagues who are catching up with each other or discussing business, often times I find it not to be so. Specially with acquaintance or stranger, the lines somehow seems to be thrown to the other person in a hurry. Then without waiting for a response, one moves on. And worst is when the response is just the repetition of the same question. In such cases, it seems not like a polite greeting but a hurried formality dumped on another. It is of course nice and polite to wish people one meets around during the day. However, when people are so rushed, this same act of politeness does not look polite anymore.
When we ask 'how are you?’, except for a few exceptions with close friends and family, we are not really interested in the answer. Both the person asking and the one being asked know it. We all do. This question is more a way to start up a conversation than a sincere one. When people are hurrying to keep in pace with this ultra-fast life, they just try to squeeze out a minute to have a quick chat. People ask how the other person is doing. And these hi-hello-how-are-you chats are always pleasant and fun when there is a moment to spare. But then, why bother to ask 'how are you?' when one is not even pretending to be asking? Then one even gets as an answer just the same question asked back with the similar nonchalant tone. Both rushes off with their life, without waiting for any answer at all. Well, the answer never comes, and actually, no one was expecting an answer in the first place! We cannot possibly spare time to engage in a chat with all the familiar faces we meet each day. However, in such cases a smiling nod, a hi, a good day etc show very well the acknowledgment in a polite manner. Asking a question without wanting to hear an answer or answering back with the same question is strange to me! It is even rude to a certain extent instead of being polite. It may not register to us as we go away in haste. No one thinks about the exchange in any negative way. It is just a style of greetings, a lifestyle. But, in a way it makes the fact more evident that how little we care, if at all. Everyone of us.. And that is one sad thing to realize..
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