Holding a hand

It was sometime last month; I was meeting my friends in the afternoon. We had planned to go to the Japanese restaurant for some good Sushi. It was a nice afternoon chatting with friends, having some nice sushi, and later some dessert at our usual dessert parlor. And finally we had to decide to go home as there were trains and buses to catch. I was about to catch the bus number 47 that was at 7pm. As there was still some time, I decided to walk to the usual Tobačna stop though some other stop was closer. I feel more comfortable there and anyway it feels better to walk than to wait for the bus impatiently at the stop.

I was standing at the Tobačna crossing waiting for the traffic lights to turn green for me; when I suddenly heard someone talking hurriedly behind. Looking back, I saw an old grandma standing, talking in a loud hurried way. I was quite surprised. I had never seen a beggar there, that too one asking explicitly for money. I didn’t expect her to be one, but also couldn’t guess what the matter was. Anyway I couldn’t understand what she was speaking in Slovene; one of her hand holding some bag was extended and in the other she had a walking stick. I turned away feeling a bit strange and sorry.

The grandma was talking again, and this time I could hear the word ‘rokica’, a cute way of saying hand in Slovene. And then an idea occurred to me. Hearing the word ‘hand’ and from her gesture, I thought maybe she is asking for help in crossing the road. Still unsure and the traffic about to turn green I went to her, and gave my hand.

Getting me there, she excitedly started talking more, and from her gesture I understood she wants me to put my hand such that she can hold my arm for a better grip. The light had just turned green, and grabbing my hand the poor confused grandma hesitantly stepped down on the road. She was slow slow slow. I really had to make an effort to walk along with her. And all the time she was talking something from which I could only understand that she was coming from the market. As fast as she could talk, she walked as much slow. By the time we reached the middle of the road, the traffic was already red again. As it instantly doesn’t turn green for the cars, and as when it did turn green the cars seeing us were nice enough to wait a bit more, we finally managed to ‘cross’ the road!!

Reaching the other side, she was happy and was busy thanking me excitedly, and pampering me. ‘Hvala’ and ‘pridna’ (thanks and good girl) were what I could only get. Then she was saying something and searching in her bag, taking out a bunch of parsley or something and wondering, and searching again. I was standing there completely clueless, and trying to decipher what is happening. And finally when I got that she is trying to give me something for helping her, I politely said that I don’t need anything. Following another series of her saying ‘hvala’ and me ‘prosim’, I finally walked towards my bus stop.

There was still around 15mins for the bus to arrive, and I was just waiting, and saw her walking towards my direction. To cross the bus stop from the traffic she took around 10mins, something that anyone walks in less than 30secs. Such slow and poor was she. Walking slowly, sometimes holding the railing for the support, stopping for a min after few steps, she was visibly poor and slow. She turned towards the direction of some old apartment blocks and my bus also came.

On the way back I was thinking of her. Happy that I just didn’t ignore her because I couldn’t understand what she said but decided to go and see what she needs, I was smiling. I was happy to lend her a hand of support, to help her cross the road. It gave a sense of satisfaction realizing the happiness it gives to hold a hand. And at the same time I was sorry thinking of the poor old grandma, wondering how she is alone, doing all her work on her own. She must feel lonely and maybe that is the reason she was talking so much getting someone by her side. I was happy to brighten up her evening just for a bit.

That single act made my day perfect, complete, happy and satisfied.

I remember the grandma often as I pass the Tobačna stop and crossing almost every day. And then again on Easter Saturday I saw her. I was going with Blaž to the church. His grandma believes that the food must be blessed for Easter but is now too old to go on her own, so we were going instead of her with the basket of food to have it blessed. I was again talking about her, and then I saw her walking in the opposite direction with her basket of blessed food. At first I was not sure if it was her. And then I saw her similar bluish dress, her bag and headscarf, that same old friendly face, and I knew it was her. Also I saw her face brightening as she recognized me. Seeing her face in the daylight, I realized, even though she is old, alone, it had some kind of happiness, satisfaction and was having the friendly smile. I felt good thinking she is not so sad and poor after all. She smiled at us and said ‘Pridna sta’.. you two good ones, you just have to take the basket of food for blessing. And smiling she was again walking slowly on her own way.Her smiling friendly face made me happy again.

I think of her. And I hope to meet her again someday, help her cross, or just pass by, and smile at each other…..

Colorful beads

A small little ball with a hole inside can make everything bright and shining!

Simple and colorful beads jewelry in a store always used to attract me. Not because I am so much into jewelries; their vibrant colors and simplicity were enough to make me fancy them. And I also wished to make them on my own. This wish was strengthened as I looked at the pictures of pretty earrings Urša made. Simply ‘google’ it up, and one can find innumerable tutorials, designs, videos and ideas of how to make the beads jewelry. I already had quite a few ideas in my mind, and only needed to learn the ways of attaching the clips and the supplies before I could start being colorfully creative.

I turned to Urša for help. She is doing it for long and so exactly knows the basic things required in the kit, and where to get them nice and cheap. And I made my list of beads, clips for necklaces, pins for earrings, metal wires for the earrings, nylon wires for the necklace, a pair of craft pliers for bending the wires into shapes; all these that I will buy from the ‘Levček’ store. It is a store I already knew to have all craft items, and Urša also suggested it for getting all items together and cheap. Oh, I almost forgot the cutter for the wires and quickly added it in the list. I asked Urša, who was always helpful in answering all my doubts as clearly as possible and sometimes with aids of pictures, a few more questions regarding methods of doing the ends and so on. And that afternoon, after work, geared up with the basic knowledge, my list, and of course with all enthusiasm, I went to the store along with Blaž. The store is in BTC, and I was still not familiar with going there alone.

The store ‘Levček’ (actually named as ‘pri Levčku’) is in Hall A. It took us a couple of minutes to find, while Blaž was explaining me the plan of BTC so that I can go on my own too when I wish. And there I was standing in my store, already lost in all those colorful things, confused at what ‘not’ to buy despite of my list.
Buying the pliers, cutters, wires, clips and pins were easy. I chose the silver color for wires, pins and clips as I like it more when it comes to jewelry over gold or copper. The more difficult step was choosing the beads. I got some basic black and white beads that can be paired up with almost everything. Of course I had to take some shiny red beads, red being one of my favorite colors that also suits me well. I picked up some box of small wooden beads, some grayish beads, and a small box of white small pipes. I loved the wooden beads and picked up another box with big wooden ones, and one in assorted colors. I had an interesting design idea that called for some big beads, and I chose a box of stone ones in light lavender color. And in the end I couldn’t resist picking up some other hue of red, some white stones, and two types of silver pipes. I left the store with several bags and boxes of these colorful beads, and myself all excited, bubbly and smiling. All the way back home, I was simply thinking of my beads and new ideas!!

Reaching home, the first thing I did was again looking at my new precious possessions. And then I was busy doing the everyday work a bit, cooking and eating dinner and things like that. It was almost time for bed, and I couldn’t resist looking at my beads once more before going to sleep.

Sitting on my carpet, I took out the packet from my craft drawer. Thinking, why to not see if I can make the loops nicely, I took out the pliers and silver wire. Now, I can’t just check if I can make the loops nicely without putting some beads, can I? And with the red beads and small wooden beads, I was there already making my first pair of earrings!! The wire was arranged in a circle and it was some time making the curved wire a bit straight. Then I made some trial arrangements of the beads to check out which looks nicest. Some more efforts the wires with the beads were finally attached to the pins. With the not so perfect and precise loops and losing one small wooden bead in the process, there was my first handmade pair earrings!
Of course I had to also try making a matching anklet. Anklet is my favorite jewelry and I had to try if I can attach the clips for anklets and necklaces. With similar color combination I made the anklet. Thinking if I should I put the beads all over the length or keep some space towards the end so the beads can move, I arranged the beads. A bit hesitantly I decided to keep some space for the movement of the beads. And at the end, everything turned out just perfect.

More than making the jewelry itself, the creativity gave me pleasure and satisfaction. I found myself again enthusiastic about something that makes my heart happy. I was there doing it till it is done as I wished it to be, forgetting time and other things! The only thing in my mind was giving shape to my creative ideas.

Putting them on me, I was looking at the mirror. From every angle I checked, judging my work and how it looks on me. And now my first pair of earrings and anklets ready, I had to wear them at the earliest possible! I changed the next day’s dress for work to some red top. And finally I was there in bed, quite late than I initially planned to, smiling happily and dreaming of my red earrings and anklets!!

The Bengali fonts

Sometimes my thoughts are best expressed in Bengali. I simply let my thoughts flow and write as if I am talking to myself. Of course, it is best to write and read Bengali in the Bengali font; and for the past one year I was trying to make the Bengali font software work in my computer and write using it. I would also read others writing using Bengali font in the BMTP community where I myself write from time to time, and this made my wish more strong..

I had downloaded and installed the software long ago, but never managed to write a complete paragraph using it.

The first problem was using the keyboard. I have European keyboard, and of course the default keyboard layout is set to that. However, if I try to type using the software in Bengali fonts, it sets the keyboard layout to English and I am here lost in the keyboard, not knowing which key is which. It is easy to remember that ‘z’ and ‘y’ have interchanged places. But I forget even that when I type in a flow, not looking so much at the keyboard. And the special symbols become a complete mess. I need them more than to simply use them for punctuation. I need them to write the conjugated alphabets and special phonetics. It is so annoying if I suddenly get stuck up with a word because I don’t know where a particular symbol is on the keyboard!
The other reason that I was sort of procrastinating using the software is that it is slow to type like that. I have to type keeping in mind the phonetics. And when I am writing Bengali using English fonts, I sort of follow the phonetics of course, but not to the exact precision. So, well, it is slow slow. By the time I finish typing two sentences, the flow is lost, and the mood of writing is lost. And simply I leave the software, shifting to normal English fonts!

But finally this time, I was really determined to try. I had this free evening and I was thinking of making one of my previous posts here in this blog (Lost home) into Bengali for the community. And this time it had to be using Bengali fonts. It was a bit easier as I already had the post ready, my thought already put into words; the only work was typing that in Bengali.

So with all enthusiasm I started. And it took me forever. Sometimes I was not sure how to write a particular word! I was stuck up in the middle and didn’t know how to write the 'ঙ্গ' of 'জঙ্গল', and many more of the conjugated alphabets. Sometimes forgetting to use the uppercase alphabets, I was turning 'বড়ো' into 'বর', and other times jumbling up with 'শ', 'ষ', 'স' which are supposed to be written as sh/S, Sh, s respectively with mere messing up with lower/upper cases. 'ঁ' is written with '^'; and as the layout had changed, I had no clue where to find the '^'. And same it was with finding 'inverted commas' and other punctuations. And so on.. It took me the whole evening to type something that I could have easily done in less than half an hour if I was not trying to use the Bengali fonts.

But in the end it was all worth the effort and the experience was satisfying. It felt so good to see finally myself using the Bengali fonts to write Bengali in the computer. It was easy, comfortable and a great pleasure to read it later, even though it had a few spelling mistakes. It was simply perfect to see myself writing in my mother tongue using the original fonts…

I was never a computer girl, and I remember how in school we started using the computer. It was amazing and even impossible for me to think of typing in Bengali fonts back in those days. And today I typed in Bengali myself for the first time. It is amazing to experience a impossible thought of then to turn into reality now..

Here below it is my first ever real Bengali post!

গৃহহীন

কলকাতায় আমাদের যেখানে বাড়ি, সেখানে এখন অব্দিও বেশ সবুজের ছোঁয়া ছিল। আসলে, আশেপাশে অনেক ফাঁকা জমি পরে আছে বাড়ি হওয়ার অপেক্ষায়। যদিও জানি একদিন সব ভরে যাবে কংক্রিটের জঙ্গলে, কিন্তু ততদিন আমরা উপভোগ করে যাচ্ছি এই সবুজকে। গাছপালা তো আর জানে না যে তারা মানুষের ইচ্ছায় সীমিত, তাই তারা বেরে চলেছে আপন মনে, আর নানান পাখি, জন্তু-জানোয়াড় গড়ে তুলেছে তাদের বাসস্থান।

আমাদের বাড়ির ঠিক পিছনের এই ফাঁকা জমিটাতে দাঁড়িয়ে ছিল দুটো বড়ো বড়ো গাছ। আর, চারিদিক ভরা ছিল নানা ঝোঁপঝাড়ে। এক বন্য সবুজের ছিল ভাব। গাছ দুটোতে ছিল নানা পাখির বাসা, আর ঝোঁপঝাড়-গর্তের মধ্যে বাড়ি খুঁজে নিয়েছিল ছট্টো ছট্টো জীব। সকাল বেলা ঘুম ভাঙ্গতো নানা পাখির কলতানে। কাক, চড়াই, শালিকের সাথে সাথে উড়ে আসতো নানা রকমের মাছরাঙা, কাঠঠোকরা, ঘুঘু, কাদাখোঁচা, বদ্রিকা, বউ-কথা-ক, টিয়া, বুলবুল, ফিঁঙের দল। ঝোপের ফাঁকে একটা বেজী হঠাত্ দৌড়ে গেল। আর কাঠবিড়ালী তার লেজটি তুলে আমাদের পাঁচিলে বসে কুটকুট করে খেত বাদাম। ককিল তার গানের সুরে জানাত বসন্তের আগমন। পড়ন্ত সূর্যের সাথে সাথে পাখিরা ফিরত তাদের বাসায়। কলরবে মুখর তারা কথা বলত নিজেদের মধ্যে, সারাদিন কি কি করল, কি কি দেখল, কটা পোকা ধরল। এই কলতান যেন হয়ে উঠত কোন শ্রেষ্ঠ সুরমূর্চ্ছনা। শান্তির আবেশ নিযে আসত এই এক টুকরো সবুজ। প্রকৃতি মা যেন কোল পেতে কাছে ডাকছে।

কিন্তু অবশেষে কেড়ে নেওয়া হলো এই সবুজের টুকরো এক ইমারতের প্রস্তুতিতে। যদিও জানতাম এ অবসম্ভাবী, তাও মন মানে না। জমিটির আসল মালিক ওটা বেঁচে দিয়েছেন, এবং নতুন মালিক ইতিমধ্যেই তার বাড়ি তৈরী করতে শুরু করে দিয়েছেন। আর তার প্রথম পদক্ষেপ ছিল ওই গাছ দুটি কেটে ফেলা।

সেই সকালটা শুরু হয়েছিল গাছের গায়ে কুড়ালের আঘাতের সাথে। আর, সন্ধ্যের মধ্যে ওই বড় গাছ দুটো মাটিতে পড়ে ছিল শুধুমাত্র কিছু কাঠ হয়ে। এক বেলার মধ্যে ওই একফালি শান্ত সবুজ পরিণত হয়েছিল এক বঞ্জর জমিতে। শীঘ্রই সেখানে গড়ে উঠবে এক আধুনিক বাসস্থান।
সেই বিকেলে যখন পাখিরা ফিরল, তাদের বাসা খুঁজে পেল না তারা। গাছ দুটো পরে আছে মাটিতে। আর, যেই বাসায় তারা ফিরে এসেছিল, তা আর নেই। বেজীরা বুঝল না, তাদের নিশ্চিন্তে লুকানোর জায়গাটা হঠাত্ কোথায় গেল। পাখির কলতান সেদিন বলছিল না তাদের সারাদিনের গল্প, তা শুধু বলছিল তাদের বিস্ময় মাখানো হতাশার কথা। কোন সুর ছিল না তাতে, ছিল শুধু গৃহহীন হওয়ার বেদনা, কান্না। বহুদিনের পরিশ্রমে একটি একটি খড়-কুটো জোগাড় করে তারা যেখানে বানিয়েছিল তাদের বাসা, এক নিরাপদ আশ্রয়, সেখানে এখন একটা একটা ইট দিয়ে গড়ে উঠবে অন্য কারোর বাড়ি। রাত পর্জন্ত তারা ব্যার্থ আশায় খুঁজে চলল, নালিশ জানাল। তারপর ক্লান্ত হয়ে ফিরে গেল, হেরে গেল। চলে গেল তারা। প্রকৃতি চিরতরের জন্যে ফিরিয়ে নিল মুখ। আর কোনো বসন্তে ডাকবে না কোন কোকিল সেখানে, ডিম পারার জন্যে কাকের বাসাটাই তো আর নেই।

শুধু আমরা কোনদিনও বোঝার চেষ্টা করলাম না যে আমাদের বাড়ির ভীত আমরা গড়ে তুলছি অন্য কারোর বাড়ির ধ্বংসাবশেষে।।