Assorted images of rain

We Bengalees love rain. Rain is romantic and poetic for us. Bengali language is rich with words sweetly echoing the various moods and rhythms of the rain. Over ages, our poets are describing flickering human emotions through various images of rain. These pattering drops have the versatility of expressing moments that are painted with colors of happiness or melancholy. As the dark grey clouds cover the sky announcing the approaching rain, we sit by the window, penning down our thoughts in the rhythm of the rain.

Rain is my favorite too. And though I don’t have the ability to arrange my thoughts in rhyme and rhythm, my heart signs with the rain in perfect symphony. A leisurely day with the pattering music of rain outside and me relaxing in the warm comfort of a cozy corner allows my mind the pleasure to dwell in its romantic wanderings. However, trying to protect myself under the small safety of an umbrella on the way to work is not a picture that I welcome. A bright sunny afternoon turning dark with clouds bringing afternoon shower-storm is romantic. A dark sky for days together with everything drenched is gloomy.

I was working in the lab and noticed it turning dark outside the window. I had planned to leave in around half an hour; and checked online the radar image to know how strong a rain was coming so that I was not trapped inside again like the other day. The sky was playing with various shades of grey preparing for the rain. It already started raining as I was thinking all these. I quickly saved my work and turned off the computer, grabbed my bag, card and keys. The rain was already quite strong as I stepped out grabbing my umbrella. I walked in the rain, in almost empty streets. It had almost the excitement of ‘an adventure’. Sitting in the bus, I looked out the window. The heavy downpour made everything white. The wind swiped the rain in all directions creating whirlpools. Magnificent lightnings tore apart the darkness of sky. Showers this strong are not only refreshing; it is beautiful to look at. And it was more amazing to walk and feel this beautifully strong rain.

Afternoon showers in summer always remind me of ‘kalbaisakhi’ or Nor’westers in Calcutta. I love it. It was a hot humid afternoon in the summer holiday. Brother and I were busy playing. We noticed the corner of the sky turning dark. The darkness crawled and covered the sky in no time; and the still wind of the noon was turning into a storm. Bang! It was the window. With more banging sounds we hurriedly closed the windows. We went in the veranda to feel the storm. The wind on face felt good. It tasted salty, like the rock salt. This dusty salty wind was so refreshing for us. We were giggling. Soon the rain started. And the wind brought it inside the veranda. Each drop hitting my face made me smile more and more. I imagined myself in the rural Bengal, soaking in the rain. The setting sun shone brightly again with little water drops gleaming.

My lab has four big skylights. I always enjoy the pattering sound of the raindrops on the glass. It creates a pleasant music for a busy and tiring day at work. It was working with my sequences and listening to the music the rain was creating on my roof one noon. Suddenly the rhythm changed. Small pebbles of ice were creating a new melody. It was fast and funky. Refreshing and energetic.

I remembered the sound when hails fell on steel bowl. The same ‘tak-tak-tak-tak’ rhythm. It was one similar noon years ago. Bare foot I ran out to collect the hails. However, parents soon forced me back in the house. As I myself could not play ‘catching the hails’, I had put out a bowl to catch the hails for me. The rain stopped and I dashed out to count my collection. It was quite a ‘big’ one. Still, more tempting were those icy pebbles shining amidst the green grass. I had picked up a few and quickly put in my mouth. I still remember the stinging, desensitizing cold in my mouth. The frogs were croaking loud and happy.

I woke up before the alarm. Looking outside the window from my bed, I was annoyed with myself. It was darkish outside, suggesting some time around dawn. I had a couple of more hours before it was time to get up. But, one look at the watch showed it to be a couple of minutes. Now, frowning I forced myself out of the bed. As I stepped outside my apartment, the dark gloomy sky ‘welcomed’ me. And even though it was raining heavily, I had to go to work. Annoyed with this wet feeling, I had to walk towards the bus stop. I miss those ‘rainy days’ in school.

It started raining at night. And even in the morning the sun did not show itself. It was waterlogged all around. A day the school for sure would declare as a ‘rainy day’. Nonetheless, I of course had to go to school. It was much more fun to go to school, get a ‘rainy day’, and come back home drenched, intentionally jumping in the puddles. I walked to the bus, fighting with the wind and trying to save my overturned umbrella. The bus ‘floated’ to school. And then as expected, it was a ‘rainy day’!! Happily I returned soaked. After the yummy ‘khichdi’ at lunch, it was time to sit with the newspaper making paper boats. They floated down the ‘stream’ that had by then replaced the road.

Rain is pretty umbrellas and colorful coats. Rain is intentionally soaking the shoes on the way back from school. Rain is steaming hot ‘khichdi’ with fried ‘hilsa’. Rain is creamy coffee with ‘pakodas’. Rain is snuggling in the couch with an interesting book. Rain is walking together under the same umbrella or simply without it. Rain is being silent together and feeling the warmth. Rain is daydreaming looking outside the window. Rain is observing everything turning freshly green. Rain is lazy afternoon listening to its music. Rain is loud happy croaking of frogs. Rain is paper boats in puddles. Rain is different shades of grey painting the sky. Rain is the colorful rainbow making it bright..

And among all these bits and pieces of various images of rain, I dream of one that I wish to turn into reality someday. Myself amidst the green. Holding a big leaf over my head. Raindrops making music. Insects and frogs accompanying it. And myself getting drenched….

Sunday afternoon, woods and wild strawberries

Sunday afternoons are always so lazy, specially if it is summer. A time for a stroll, or to simply be lazy at home, reading a book, talking, and writing. It always feels so relaxed and cozy.

Last Sunday I was at Blaž’s place, like usual. We had just finished watching the world cup match, Slovenia against Algeria. It was a boring and slow match (for me, a complete non-sport person, most sports and matches are like this anyway). Nonetheless, Slovenia scored a goal and got her first ever victory at the world cup. And that was something to be happy about. The TV was still on, and I was on the couch writing. It was so hot and sunny outside.

The previous day, they had got a visit from their neighbor who told them that there are small and sweet wild strawberries growing on the hill. Blaž’s mother had suggested us to go strawberry picking. She knew our interests in these things, and also simply wished us to have a stroll outside. However, I had said that I was not going out before the sun goes a bit low.

Late in the afternoon as the sky was sort of preparing for a shower, we decided to go before the rain sets in. Going to the woods or in the fields always needs a few things to be done, even if it is just somewhere close by. And applying that repellent for ticks is one of the most important. Every time after coming back from wild I must check myself for ticks, and until this Sunday I was not very sure about what I was checking and how do they look actually! While giving us a plastic container for keeping any “harvest” that we might have, his mother suggested to not be disappointed if there were not many strawberries. And despite of saying "yes" to her, I really hoped we get. I love strawberries and picking them in the woods must be fun. I always like the idea of eating fruits that I myself plucked from the tree. And if the tree is going wild, and I pluck the berries as I walk by, it is so much more fun and interesting.

We set towards the woods across a small meadow on hill. It was nice to be in those woods after a long time. Under the green canopy we walked listening to the birds. The smell of the wood was refreshing. And I always love the crackling sounds as dry leaves break under my walk. The walk was really short and soon we reached the opening at the meadow behind the houses. This part is new to me; I had never been there before.

The meadow was beautiful and so calm. Grass was growing deep. Along with the chirping of birds, the buzzing of bees now created music. A pleasant smell of grass and weeds filled the air. We did not know the exact location of the strawberries; and started walking down the meadow, our feet sinking in the grass.

Grass flowers grew as big as me. Tiny gentle wild flowers gave more color to the green. Butterflies were fluttering around. One sat on flower nearby. I observed its grey wings with delicate white patterns as it enjoyed the nectar. Small snails were clinging to the thin stem of the plants; their house had spiral patterns captivating one's interest. Several yellow flowers dotted the meadow. They were tiny and had shape similar to irises. Bees were buzzing around everywhere. And then I heard a louder buzzing coming from a bigger insect. It was a hornet, and we had to stand still and divert our way a bit. Grasshoppers weren’t lagging behind. And dragonflies with bluish wings were all around. Among all those colors, I loved these two flowers particularly; both tiny and gentle. One was white, tiny, with petals more looking like spikes and radiating out. They were so open, welcoming the afternoon sun. The other one, similarly tiny, was purple in color. These very bright petals revealed more details as I looked closer. From its purplish white center, little bright white dots and even smaller black dots radiated in each petal. These delicate detailed patterns in nature always intrigue and amaze me. How much care the nature takes to make each of its creations beautiful! Even creations as “insignificant” as this tiny wild flower.

Till then we had no luck with strawberries. We saw a few plants, but didn’t see any strawberries growing. And then suddenly I spotted one small red ball in the weeds. It was a single one. Smelling sweetly delicious. However, that was the only one we could find; and we decided to return home, sadly with the empty box. Either we did not find the place or they are already plucked, we assumed.

And as we were almost down on the road from the pretty meadow; literally by the houses, we spotted them. First three little ones. And then a whole lot of them. Growing delectably. Just there!! The next moment we were already busy plucking those berries in delightful red color exhibiting their ripeness. We had almost “finished” it, when the same neighbor saw us and told of some close by place where more grow. Those, he said, were more round and big. And, of course I had to go there even though the path was lost amidst thorny bushes. We reached the same meadow but from a different direction. And, in the process got a few scratches as thorny branches caught my dress. One cannot miss the bright red amidst all green, specially when one is looking for them. There they were, red and round, looking so tempting. I was delighted. Soon our box had a little pile, and satisfied we started towards home. My hand smelled so nice of wild strawberries. And the same mild sweet fragrant filled the box.

Strawberry flavor was never palatable for my taste. It still is not. Same as most of the artificial fruit flavors. It smelled like cough-syrup. And though cough-syrup to me is one of the tasty tonics, I disliked ice-cream with the same flavor. Thus, I never had any fascination for strawberries until I had some real ones in Mahabaleshwar. Nevertheless, they always remained as a rare and expensive treat. And now here in Slovenia, I enjoy them, both in taste, smell and texture. A complete treat to my senses. Yet, I did not know that wild strawberries are so small and different in fragrance, with a hint of wilderness in them.

It was thus an exotic treat with wild strawberries the past Sunday. And I “discovered” that vanilla ice-cream tastes awesome with wild strawberries!!!

Cadbury Fruit and Nut

Rishte pakne do... Let relationships flourish…

Last January during my trip to Kolkata, one day was particularly dedicated to ‘food shopping’. Spices, different dry mixtures, snacks, things that I miss in Slovenia were all on the list ‘to buy’. And of course there was Cadbury.

So at this particular chocolate shop at Barabazar where all kinds of Indian and foreign chocolates are sold, we went to get my favorite ones. I asked for 5 each of all kinds of Cadbury chocolates, from classic Dairy Milk, to Fruit and Nut, Crackle, Temptations, Nutties, Bournville and so on.. And also of course 2 bags of Éclairs. The person at the shop was definitely amazed and surprised! He was unable to understand the reason behind my buying chocolates from India for taking back to Europe. Generally it is the other way round! Unable to resist his curiosity, he even asked me the reason. Well, the reason is simple. Despite of getting the finest chocolates in Europe, Cadbury will always remain as one of my favorite. After all I have grown up with it. And I would have bought more, if the weight allowance had let me do so..

Today after a good lunch I was craving for some sweet and decided to have one Fruit and Nut. And as I unwrapped it, childhood memories unfurled.. Memories of not only the sweet creamy chocolaty taste, but also of sweetest relations.. I went back around 22 years in time..

It was a Sunday morning. I was sitting in my dida’s (grandma) kitchen on my small circular ‘pidi’, a wooden seat. My dida was busy cutting potatoes for the simple tasty curry that goes with luchi, the typical Sunday breakfast of Bengali household. I guess I was being my usual self, busy chattering to her. Dadu (grandpa) came from the market with the week’s vegetables, fishes, groceries etc. The rule was, whenever my grandparents would go out, I was supposed to get a treat of some candy after they returned. And this time was no exception either. Dadu had brought me a Cadbury Fruit and Nut!!

It was the first time I got it. It was a “new” chocolate for me! I was so excited and couldn’t wait to unwrap and have a bite. But before unwrapping, I took a notice of the wrap. And a picture got imprinted in my mind forever.

It was usual Cadbury purplish blue wrapper with white in the middle. The picture of assorted fruits and nuts on a side. And the usual Cadbury logo, with “Fruit and Nut” written in red. Though essentially similar, the complete get up was quite different from the present one. They layout was much simpler and less stylish. It was a much plain paper compared to the shiny glossy plastic wrap today. The paper was just wrapping the chocolate in the golden foil, and the shorter sides had the golden foil visible. The whole look was much simple, less glossy or commercial back then. But it was special to me nonetheless. First, as dadu had brought it for me! It was something “new”, and I always have this special interest in new things. Moreover, I would mostly get a small candy or lozenges, maybe my favorite fruit; thus a chocolate being a rare treat was special always.

I demanded to have a piece of it then and there, even before breakfast. And dida agreed to give me only one block. But dida’s “taler bora”, as she lovingly calls me because of my constant demands, was of course not quite satisfied. I agreed with having only one little piece of it before breakfast; but it had to be a perfect square, without uneven edges from casual breaking. So dida had to actually cut the edges and make them smooth. And those little bits of chocolates that resulted from the “smoothening” of edges weren’t wasted either! I rolled them between my fingers to make a small little ball. And then with my chocolate block and ball, away I went to the backyard to enjoy my sweet treat..

This was my first memory with “Fruit and Nut”… A picture that came back to me decades after as I sat there enjoying it in a far away country. And it brings memories with it that are sweeter than the chocolate itself. It brings all love of my dadu who is long lost from me. And all love of my dida who lovingly fulfills all my wishes.

Fruit and Nut is not only about a good chocolate. It is about all the memories. It is about relations and persons closest to me. Cadbury is all about memories. Memories with special moments from past years, memories colored with different relations. I had a Cadbury for birthdays, any other special occasion. I would treat myself with one after results are out, after achieving something, or when I am simply bored and even sad. It is the chocolate I got from all people very dear and close to me. Cadbury to me is truly celebrating relationships.

And, as I make new memories with good European chocolates, Cadbury will always continue to remain as one very special and favorite…

Helping frogs cross the road..

"Quack Quack"

I love frogs. I find them cute. I love watching them in ditches. Their quacking sounds and little jumps make me smile. They are complete "zaba" stuff!

And this spring, I helped them cross the roads! :D

With the onset of spring the mating season for frogs start. Thousands of frogs then try to reach some water from the plains and hills to lay their eggs. At certain places in Slovenia, on their way to some big pond or something similar, the frogs need to cross the main roads. And in an attempt to do so, thousands get killed every year. Thus around this time, there is this voluntary group that actually organizes to help frogs cross roads. A 'fence' is put up at places where frogs cross in high number. Around the sunset when frogs start moving, they get caught at this fence. Then volunteers pick them up in buckets; put them across and a bit away from the road. Some of those that manage to escape the fence can still get killed, but most are saved in the way.

It sounded like a great idea, and I decided to volunteer one day. It was one Saturday towards the end of the breeding season when we actually had found time to go there.

Though I had happily agreed to the idea and was excited about it, I was very much unsure if I would be able to touch one in reality. To dissect chloroformed toads in high school Biology practical was something else. I enjoyed that. But catching one, that can actually jump, hm, I was not so sure. Somehow I do not like animals very close to me, let alone touch them. Specially amphibians and reptiles. And even though I would be wearing gloves, I had this strange feeling inside me. Well, hm. I decided, if I would not manage, I would just enjoy watching them. But I secretly hoped to be able to manage...

We reached the spot. Some people were already at 'work'. It was nice to see so many enthusiasts and frog lovers. Wearing the reflective jacket and gloves, I was all ready, hardly able to wait for the adventure to begin!!

The first one I spotted was a small toad. I did not dare to approach it. I was happy looking at it in the bucket after Blaž caught it. For the next few ones also I did not even manage to try.

And then when I actually got the courage to try, I chose the wrong type of frog. It was a common frog. And as I was putting my hand close to it, it made a jump. In a reflex I jumped back a feet away from the frog saying "it jumps"! As if it was not supposed to! That scared jump of the frog for escape actually managed to scare me all the more. It is not my thing, I decided sadly..

The bucket had accumulated within it quite a few frogs and it was time to take them across the road. As we slowly turned the bucket on the ground, the common frogs were first to jump out. Such restless were they! The toads followed. And in the end there was a small scared green frog, barely moving or trying to escape. Looking at the scared little one I felt sorry. And finally I got enough courage to actually take it out of the bucket. The poor frog took a few moments after I had put it on the grass and then jumped away! Later I picked up all the 5-6 green frogs we spotted!! I was sooo proud of myself..

These green frogs were scared and small. They barely moved as were approached, not even trying to escape. One could see that they were scared and lost.. But in my mind I imagined that when they were on the other side of the road and closer to the pond, not knowing how that happened; they were somehow thankful to the fact. Thankful that they did not have to cross the dangerous roads where 'big looking things' can crush them to death. It was a happy feeling knowing they are safe.

The little toads, not those big ones we used to get for dissection, were neither very scared nor very jumpy. Most of them were in pairs. The bigger female toad carried the small male toad on its back, and on the way to the water they mated. There were some poor male toads still in search of partner. The male ones in pairs therefore were always in danger of losing their partner if not careful. So, if the hind legs of a male toad with its partner were touched; it thought another male was approaching its partner and tried to kick it away with all might. Funny it was to watch that. Basic instincts! These small toads do not need a pond or lot of water to lay eggs; they can do that even in small puddles in the fields. By that time of the season some were already coming back after leaving there eggs. And some males were getting a ride even on the way back!!

The naughtiest ones were the common brown frogs. They jumped and jumped and jumped. They were trying to escape all the time. They 'stood' stretching all their legs with the bucket as support. They even 'stood' on others. A desperate attempt to escape. Again, basic instinct!

Oh, someone caught two small Alpine newts also and showed us. Newts are colorful and amphibians, but to me they are 'lizards'. And lizards and me... But they were cute :) Little ones..

It was an evening learning more about frogs. For the first time in life I was close to some animal and observing them, their ways and instincts. And it was fun and exciting!! Some event I am looking forward to participate in next year too.

We made the frogs scared. But we saved them.

And as we parted I know what they said. A "quack quack" thank you!!!


"Quack"

 @..@
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 < I I >
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Left is right and right is wrong!

This is what I knew it to be all my life. And then I landed here where 'right' is actually right! And this literally turned my world 'left-side right'. Well, yes, I am talking about the traffic. My roads turned around as I came here to right-handed traffic in Slovenia from left-handed one in India. "First look at right, then left, and then right again, and only then cross the road". This was the rule for me. And I had to change it completely!! Good that there are more traffic lights to help cross road..

Before coming to Slovenia, I really did not think about it. I had too many other worries and any thoughts regarding traffic was nonexistent in my mind. And after reaching here, it took my mind some time to notice and feel the difference..

Initially it was the impact of being in a new country. New places, buildings, names, language, people, work and so on.. I had too much to occupy my mind. I did notice the driver's seat to be in the 'wrong' side, but was still to realize the effect. Initially, it was nothing more than one of the many differences that I noticed. Not really knowing my way then, I was not yet going around alone; and thus was oblivious of the turned directions.

And then one day, waiting at a traffic light, the reality dawned on me. By then I had familiarized myself well enough to know that we were waiting to turn left. First I found it very strange waiting for the traffic to turn green for making a left turn. However, my mind could still provide a reason. In most big or busy crossings one actually has to wait at traffic even for a left turn. The light turned green. As I noticed the car making the left turn, well something was not exactly right.. Actually it was all very strange!! We turned such to drive on the right side of the road!! In that moment, for the first time I realized that the directions of my roads have changed. And it was a big change indeed. Specially for one like me who is always lost with directions..

I was returning home from work. Reaching the main road I stood lost. On which side of the road should I wait for the bus?? Step one, on which direction is home? Step two, on which side of the road is the traffic moving to the desired direction? Confirmation step, on which side did I get down in the morning? And there, you know on which side you should wait for the bus. Hm, well, that was easy! For the next few days and if I was availing some new bus stop, I had to repeat this process in my mind to know my direction!

And I still have to do that if I go somewhere I never went before! Or simply when I am unmindful..

Last week, I was walking to the city center from work. The wish was to simply walk around and maybe visit some bookstores. Spending a pleasant time in the bookstore, I decided to head towards home. Still absorbed in thoughts of books, I was standing at the bus stop waiting for my bus. A No. 6 arrived. I was almost about to board it when I realized it would be taking me away from home instead. Lost in my thoughts, I was standing and waiting on the wrong side!

Funny situations happen when I walk on the road. I meet someone face-to-face. The other person moves to his right to make way for me. And I move to my 'right'. Almost coming to the verge of a collision. A confused and startled moment follows when we both stop; and then continue on our way. Even though I am telling in my mind "right right right right right", I always land up on the other 'right'!

Last January when I went to India after more than a year, I was afraid about the roads. I thought I would be completely confused with sides and not know where I should wait for the bus. Specially if I would go to somewhere not usual! Fortunately, my fear was unfounded. Kolkata is home after all, and one cannot forget the city where one grows up. I landed there and it felt home. I knew my rule well. And anyway it is not anymore a rule, but had turned into a habit years ago.

But.

Now here in Slovenia, it is still a rule that is still 'strange'.

And the rule is "Right is right and left is wrong"!!

Hairclips and Hairbands..

No I have not grown up. And I really doubt if I ever will.

Last weekend I had my usual trimming of hair. And after that, I have this strong strong feeling to buy those colorful hair stuffs. Hairclips, hairbands, and those cute rubber bands with something on it for a pony tail. No, I don’t like Barbie stuff, but I wish those colorful things, the cute and childish ones. Like I used to get from my dad..

Childhood days, and I have memory of dad pampering and spoiling me with those cute hair stuffs. My ma would also bring of course, but somehow I have memory of dad bringing little me those things. With my ma I have those memories from when I was a quite a bit grown up. Durga puja, birthdays, and no occasion at all, he simply brought his Guria those things whenever he would find something cute.

On the dressing table mirror, I remember, there used to be a full row of hairbands in all different colors and shapes. The spiral yellow one, the white one with a red bow, the plain red one for school, the red and black one with some detailed designs, light purple that had some whitish undertone, they were in every possible colors. And proudly I would get up on the dressing table to take the one that matched my dress that day down. Sometimes if one would break, the next day dad would bring another one to make his little girl happy!

All sorts of clips filled up the drawer. I specially loved those little plastic bow clips from when I was baby. They would be in pairs and in every shades present on the palette. Big and small, they delighted me. And I specially liked if some had a bit of dots or some kind of decorations. Those were more special. I remember a lavender colored bow with white dots. There were single ones also, a bit more fancy ones. A particular one had two small birdies in a nest. The purple nest and yellow tiny beaks of the birdies made it so cute. I still have this one with me. I still have the lavender bow. I still have a white one with black dots. The white color has faded with time into a yellowish one. But even today, when I look at it, feel it and try to put it on my hair, I feel my dad’s love and touch and it makes me smile.

Those rubber bands were cute. I would make two pony tails and tie them up with those cute bands dad had got for me. They had small beads in different shapes and combinations, playing with colors. It would be little blue balls with red rings, cute face of a girl in two ponies, little flowers, bugs. A pair had cream colored rose beads; I wore it for the first time on Ashtami day with the dress my grandma made. It was special.

Once dad bought me a red hairclip with golden edges. Somewhat like for grown up woman. What lady-like I felt putting it on!! I wouldn’t get to wear it often, as it was not childishly cute but more elegant. It was every time a special occasion when I would put it on. One such occasion was the morning when we went to Nagrakot in Nepal for the sunrise. It was not only special because I wore the clip that day; it was because dad had made my hair that day. He had put it on!!!

And I wish to wear all those things again. Those colorful bands, those pretty clips. Everything. Well, maybe not the ones for little babies, but all the rest. All those cute ones. Hm, and on second thought, I can also wear those that are for babies, when I go out on my own, maybe just not to work :)

I wish them. And I can buy them. But I wish someone to buy it for me. I wished to fill pampered and loved with those cute colorful things. I wish dad to buy me those things..

Baba, buy me one hairclip pleaseeee…
আমাকে একটা ক্লিপ কিনে দাও না বাবা...

Coal.. Smoke.. And time goes back..

Little me with my friends would play “train-train”. The “engine” would start with the long “kuuuuuuuu” sound, and the rest of the “coaches” would follow with the slow and rhythmic “jhik-jhik jhik-jhik”. It is something that children were playing from when train was invented to down the generations. It has always been this particular “kuuuuu jhik jhik” melody that I have associated with trains. However, the shrill siren of modern day train doesn’t resemble the romantic melody of “kuuuuu jhik jhik” even the least. Though I sometimes wondered, the question was never strong enough to make me search for an answer. And then suddenly I stumbled over the answer…

Slovenian Railways offer a heritage ride along the Bohijn line. It is a three hours steam train ride from Jesenice to Nova Gorica and back. It runs around 10-12 times a year and during the spring-summer time. On April 24, it was the first ride of the season; and Blaž and I decided to go with it. As we both love trains, we were very much looking forward to the journey the whole week. I even dreamt of the train-ride and was so excited!!

8.50 in the morning the train was scheduled to start. However, we were too impatient to be there at the last moment and decided to reach almost an hour early. Our argument was “we need to have the best possible seat, take pictures before the ride and explore the train a bit if possible”!!

The train was standing in the station with its classic elegance. The black steam engine was standing in pride; and from time to time smoke came out announcing its glory. All ready, the small wooden coaches were standing. I specially loved the coach marked as post with the small yellow drop box for letters. The class III coaches were all wooden and bright; and the single class II coach was cozy and warm-looking with cushioned seats. Being a museum train, it even had a bar cum shop. Of course we had to be the first “children” to go up inside the engine. It was magnificent! The bed of coal in the furnace was burning golden; and six more tons of coal were ready for the journey that was about to begin. We settled down by the window sides of the class II coach (I told you, the reason to come early was to get the good seats); and impatiently I looked at the station clock counting minutes!

“Kuuuuuuuu”, releasing a cloud of black smoke the train started. The wheels rolled for a journey back in time. And at that instant, I knew why it is “kuuuuu jhik-jhik jhik-jhik”….

The siren was loud, deep and melodious; and the train moved in a slow rhythmic fashion. The fast modern trains couldn't compare with it in elegance, charm and romanticism. A children's play from his world of fantasies had to be as romantic as the steam train. And thus, though the train evolved in reality, in a child's world it remained the same. And same stayed all his excitement and wonder for his first train ride. Like Apu and Durga, my mind raced with the train, and for the train...

Out through the window, I kept on looking at the engine. It was like a fairy tale. Green valleys and black engine with smoke coming out, this was the only picture in my mind. And it kept me captive. I tried to count the number of coaches as the train took a turn and smiled within me. Pretty pictures framed in the window passed by. I waved back as a grandma with the children working in the field looked up to wave as the train passed by. We ran through green valleys and passed by gorges. The sound was grand as we hurried over a bridge. And inside the darkness of tunnels, the sparks of fire glowed like golden dots.

From time to time, my face was hit with coal dust from the smoke. The suddenness would make me pull my face back inside for a moment as a reflex; but then again, I was looking out. I remembered the stories my mother told me about her childhood train ride memories. Her excited face would look outside the window. And upon getting hit by coal dust, she would rub her eyes for a moment and look back again..

I realized how moments from history recreated themselves. Time passed by and technologies changed; and yet human wonders, excitement and emotions remained same. These moments of life flow eternally down the generations. There inside the steam train, I was reliving those moments from history; moments that my mother had lived and left behind in her childhood.

The train had reached Nova Gorica, the end of the journey. I stepped down from the past. My face was all black from the coal dust. And as I looked at my reflection, the child face of my mother smiled back. The same face as mine. Dirty black but happy and smiling…

Holding a hand

It was sometime last month; I was meeting my friends in the afternoon. We had planned to go to the Japanese restaurant for some good Sushi. It was a nice afternoon chatting with friends, having some nice sushi, and later some dessert at our usual dessert parlor. And finally we had to decide to go home as there were trains and buses to catch. I was about to catch the bus number 47 that was at 7pm. As there was still some time, I decided to walk to the usual Tobačna stop though some other stop was closer. I feel more comfortable there and anyway it feels better to walk than to wait for the bus impatiently at the stop.

I was standing at the Tobačna crossing waiting for the traffic lights to turn green for me; when I suddenly heard someone talking hurriedly behind. Looking back, I saw an old grandma standing, talking in a loud hurried way. I was quite surprised. I had never seen a beggar there, that too one asking explicitly for money. I didn’t expect her to be one, but also couldn’t guess what the matter was. Anyway I couldn’t understand what she was speaking in Slovene; one of her hand holding some bag was extended and in the other she had a walking stick. I turned away feeling a bit strange and sorry.

The grandma was talking again, and this time I could hear the word ‘rokica’, a cute way of saying hand in Slovene. And then an idea occurred to me. Hearing the word ‘hand’ and from her gesture, I thought maybe she is asking for help in crossing the road. Still unsure and the traffic about to turn green I went to her, and gave my hand.

Getting me there, she excitedly started talking more, and from her gesture I understood she wants me to put my hand such that she can hold my arm for a better grip. The light had just turned green, and grabbing my hand the poor confused grandma hesitantly stepped down on the road. She was slow slow slow. I really had to make an effort to walk along with her. And all the time she was talking something from which I could only understand that she was coming from the market. As fast as she could talk, she walked as much slow. By the time we reached the middle of the road, the traffic was already red again. As it instantly doesn’t turn green for the cars, and as when it did turn green the cars seeing us were nice enough to wait a bit more, we finally managed to ‘cross’ the road!!

Reaching the other side, she was happy and was busy thanking me excitedly, and pampering me. ‘Hvala’ and ‘pridna’ (thanks and good girl) were what I could only get. Then she was saying something and searching in her bag, taking out a bunch of parsley or something and wondering, and searching again. I was standing there completely clueless, and trying to decipher what is happening. And finally when I got that she is trying to give me something for helping her, I politely said that I don’t need anything. Following another series of her saying ‘hvala’ and me ‘prosim’, I finally walked towards my bus stop.

There was still around 15mins for the bus to arrive, and I was just waiting, and saw her walking towards my direction. To cross the bus stop from the traffic she took around 10mins, something that anyone walks in less than 30secs. Such slow and poor was she. Walking slowly, sometimes holding the railing for the support, stopping for a min after few steps, she was visibly poor and slow. She turned towards the direction of some old apartment blocks and my bus also came.

On the way back I was thinking of her. Happy that I just didn’t ignore her because I couldn’t understand what she said but decided to go and see what she needs, I was smiling. I was happy to lend her a hand of support, to help her cross the road. It gave a sense of satisfaction realizing the happiness it gives to hold a hand. And at the same time I was sorry thinking of the poor old grandma, wondering how she is alone, doing all her work on her own. She must feel lonely and maybe that is the reason she was talking so much getting someone by her side. I was happy to brighten up her evening just for a bit.

That single act made my day perfect, complete, happy and satisfied.

I remember the grandma often as I pass the Tobačna stop and crossing almost every day. And then again on Easter Saturday I saw her. I was going with Blaž to the church. His grandma believes that the food must be blessed for Easter but is now too old to go on her own, so we were going instead of her with the basket of food to have it blessed. I was again talking about her, and then I saw her walking in the opposite direction with her basket of blessed food. At first I was not sure if it was her. And then I saw her similar bluish dress, her bag and headscarf, that same old friendly face, and I knew it was her. Also I saw her face brightening as she recognized me. Seeing her face in the daylight, I realized, even though she is old, alone, it had some kind of happiness, satisfaction and was having the friendly smile. I felt good thinking she is not so sad and poor after all. She smiled at us and said ‘Pridna sta’.. you two good ones, you just have to take the basket of food for blessing. And smiling she was again walking slowly on her own way.Her smiling friendly face made me happy again.

I think of her. And I hope to meet her again someday, help her cross, or just pass by, and smile at each other…..

Colorful beads

A small little ball with a hole inside can make everything bright and shining!

Simple and colorful beads jewelry in a store always used to attract me. Not because I am so much into jewelries; their vibrant colors and simplicity were enough to make me fancy them. And I also wished to make them on my own. This wish was strengthened as I looked at the pictures of pretty earrings Urša made. Simply ‘google’ it up, and one can find innumerable tutorials, designs, videos and ideas of how to make the beads jewelry. I already had quite a few ideas in my mind, and only needed to learn the ways of attaching the clips and the supplies before I could start being colorfully creative.

I turned to Urša for help. She is doing it for long and so exactly knows the basic things required in the kit, and where to get them nice and cheap. And I made my list of beads, clips for necklaces, pins for earrings, metal wires for the earrings, nylon wires for the necklace, a pair of craft pliers for bending the wires into shapes; all these that I will buy from the ‘Levček’ store. It is a store I already knew to have all craft items, and Urša also suggested it for getting all items together and cheap. Oh, I almost forgot the cutter for the wires and quickly added it in the list. I asked Urša, who was always helpful in answering all my doubts as clearly as possible and sometimes with aids of pictures, a few more questions regarding methods of doing the ends and so on. And that afternoon, after work, geared up with the basic knowledge, my list, and of course with all enthusiasm, I went to the store along with Blaž. The store is in BTC, and I was still not familiar with going there alone.

The store ‘Levček’ (actually named as ‘pri Levčku’) is in Hall A. It took us a couple of minutes to find, while Blaž was explaining me the plan of BTC so that I can go on my own too when I wish. And there I was standing in my store, already lost in all those colorful things, confused at what ‘not’ to buy despite of my list.
Buying the pliers, cutters, wires, clips and pins were easy. I chose the silver color for wires, pins and clips as I like it more when it comes to jewelry over gold or copper. The more difficult step was choosing the beads. I got some basic black and white beads that can be paired up with almost everything. Of course I had to take some shiny red beads, red being one of my favorite colors that also suits me well. I picked up some box of small wooden beads, some grayish beads, and a small box of white small pipes. I loved the wooden beads and picked up another box with big wooden ones, and one in assorted colors. I had an interesting design idea that called for some big beads, and I chose a box of stone ones in light lavender color. And in the end I couldn’t resist picking up some other hue of red, some white stones, and two types of silver pipes. I left the store with several bags and boxes of these colorful beads, and myself all excited, bubbly and smiling. All the way back home, I was simply thinking of my beads and new ideas!!

Reaching home, the first thing I did was again looking at my new precious possessions. And then I was busy doing the everyday work a bit, cooking and eating dinner and things like that. It was almost time for bed, and I couldn’t resist looking at my beads once more before going to sleep.

Sitting on my carpet, I took out the packet from my craft drawer. Thinking, why to not see if I can make the loops nicely, I took out the pliers and silver wire. Now, I can’t just check if I can make the loops nicely without putting some beads, can I? And with the red beads and small wooden beads, I was there already making my first pair of earrings!! The wire was arranged in a circle and it was some time making the curved wire a bit straight. Then I made some trial arrangements of the beads to check out which looks nicest. Some more efforts the wires with the beads were finally attached to the pins. With the not so perfect and precise loops and losing one small wooden bead in the process, there was my first handmade pair earrings!
Of course I had to also try making a matching anklet. Anklet is my favorite jewelry and I had to try if I can attach the clips for anklets and necklaces. With similar color combination I made the anklet. Thinking if I should I put the beads all over the length or keep some space towards the end so the beads can move, I arranged the beads. A bit hesitantly I decided to keep some space for the movement of the beads. And at the end, everything turned out just perfect.

More than making the jewelry itself, the creativity gave me pleasure and satisfaction. I found myself again enthusiastic about something that makes my heart happy. I was there doing it till it is done as I wished it to be, forgetting time and other things! The only thing in my mind was giving shape to my creative ideas.

Putting them on me, I was looking at the mirror. From every angle I checked, judging my work and how it looks on me. And now my first pair of earrings and anklets ready, I had to wear them at the earliest possible! I changed the next day’s dress for work to some red top. And finally I was there in bed, quite late than I initially planned to, smiling happily and dreaming of my red earrings and anklets!!

The Bengali fonts

Sometimes my thoughts are best expressed in Bengali. I simply let my thoughts flow and write as if I am talking to myself. Of course, it is best to write and read Bengali in the Bengali font; and for the past one year I was trying to make the Bengali font software work in my computer and write using it. I would also read others writing using Bengali font in the BMTP community where I myself write from time to time, and this made my wish more strong..

I had downloaded and installed the software long ago, but never managed to write a complete paragraph using it.

The first problem was using the keyboard. I have European keyboard, and of course the default keyboard layout is set to that. However, if I try to type using the software in Bengali fonts, it sets the keyboard layout to English and I am here lost in the keyboard, not knowing which key is which. It is easy to remember that ‘z’ and ‘y’ have interchanged places. But I forget even that when I type in a flow, not looking so much at the keyboard. And the special symbols become a complete mess. I need them more than to simply use them for punctuation. I need them to write the conjugated alphabets and special phonetics. It is so annoying if I suddenly get stuck up with a word because I don’t know where a particular symbol is on the keyboard!
The other reason that I was sort of procrastinating using the software is that it is slow to type like that. I have to type keeping in mind the phonetics. And when I am writing Bengali using English fonts, I sort of follow the phonetics of course, but not to the exact precision. So, well, it is slow slow. By the time I finish typing two sentences, the flow is lost, and the mood of writing is lost. And simply I leave the software, shifting to normal English fonts!

But finally this time, I was really determined to try. I had this free evening and I was thinking of making one of my previous posts here in this blog (Lost home) into Bengali for the community. And this time it had to be using Bengali fonts. It was a bit easier as I already had the post ready, my thought already put into words; the only work was typing that in Bengali.

So with all enthusiasm I started. And it took me forever. Sometimes I was not sure how to write a particular word! I was stuck up in the middle and didn’t know how to write the 'ঙ্গ' of 'জঙ্গল', and many more of the conjugated alphabets. Sometimes forgetting to use the uppercase alphabets, I was turning 'বড়ো' into 'বর', and other times jumbling up with 'শ', 'ষ', 'স' which are supposed to be written as sh/S, Sh, s respectively with mere messing up with lower/upper cases. 'ঁ' is written with '^'; and as the layout had changed, I had no clue where to find the '^'. And same it was with finding 'inverted commas' and other punctuations. And so on.. It took me the whole evening to type something that I could have easily done in less than half an hour if I was not trying to use the Bengali fonts.

But in the end it was all worth the effort and the experience was satisfying. It felt so good to see finally myself using the Bengali fonts to write Bengali in the computer. It was easy, comfortable and a great pleasure to read it later, even though it had a few spelling mistakes. It was simply perfect to see myself writing in my mother tongue using the original fonts…

I was never a computer girl, and I remember how in school we started using the computer. It was amazing and even impossible for me to think of typing in Bengali fonts back in those days. And today I typed in Bengali myself for the first time. It is amazing to experience a impossible thought of then to turn into reality now..

Here below it is my first ever real Bengali post!

গৃহহীন

কলকাতায় আমাদের যেখানে বাড়ি, সেখানে এখন অব্দিও বেশ সবুজের ছোঁয়া ছিল। আসলে, আশেপাশে অনেক ফাঁকা জমি পরে আছে বাড়ি হওয়ার অপেক্ষায়। যদিও জানি একদিন সব ভরে যাবে কংক্রিটের জঙ্গলে, কিন্তু ততদিন আমরা উপভোগ করে যাচ্ছি এই সবুজকে। গাছপালা তো আর জানে না যে তারা মানুষের ইচ্ছায় সীমিত, তাই তারা বেরে চলেছে আপন মনে, আর নানান পাখি, জন্তু-জানোয়াড় গড়ে তুলেছে তাদের বাসস্থান।

আমাদের বাড়ির ঠিক পিছনের এই ফাঁকা জমিটাতে দাঁড়িয়ে ছিল দুটো বড়ো বড়ো গাছ। আর, চারিদিক ভরা ছিল নানা ঝোঁপঝাড়ে। এক বন্য সবুজের ছিল ভাব। গাছ দুটোতে ছিল নানা পাখির বাসা, আর ঝোঁপঝাড়-গর্তের মধ্যে বাড়ি খুঁজে নিয়েছিল ছট্টো ছট্টো জীব। সকাল বেলা ঘুম ভাঙ্গতো নানা পাখির কলতানে। কাক, চড়াই, শালিকের সাথে সাথে উড়ে আসতো নানা রকমের মাছরাঙা, কাঠঠোকরা, ঘুঘু, কাদাখোঁচা, বদ্রিকা, বউ-কথা-ক, টিয়া, বুলবুল, ফিঁঙের দল। ঝোপের ফাঁকে একটা বেজী হঠাত্ দৌড়ে গেল। আর কাঠবিড়ালী তার লেজটি তুলে আমাদের পাঁচিলে বসে কুটকুট করে খেত বাদাম। ককিল তার গানের সুরে জানাত বসন্তের আগমন। পড়ন্ত সূর্যের সাথে সাথে পাখিরা ফিরত তাদের বাসায়। কলরবে মুখর তারা কথা বলত নিজেদের মধ্যে, সারাদিন কি কি করল, কি কি দেখল, কটা পোকা ধরল। এই কলতান যেন হয়ে উঠত কোন শ্রেষ্ঠ সুরমূর্চ্ছনা। শান্তির আবেশ নিযে আসত এই এক টুকরো সবুজ। প্রকৃতি মা যেন কোল পেতে কাছে ডাকছে।

কিন্তু অবশেষে কেড়ে নেওয়া হলো এই সবুজের টুকরো এক ইমারতের প্রস্তুতিতে। যদিও জানতাম এ অবসম্ভাবী, তাও মন মানে না। জমিটির আসল মালিক ওটা বেঁচে দিয়েছেন, এবং নতুন মালিক ইতিমধ্যেই তার বাড়ি তৈরী করতে শুরু করে দিয়েছেন। আর তার প্রথম পদক্ষেপ ছিল ওই গাছ দুটি কেটে ফেলা।

সেই সকালটা শুরু হয়েছিল গাছের গায়ে কুড়ালের আঘাতের সাথে। আর, সন্ধ্যের মধ্যে ওই বড় গাছ দুটো মাটিতে পড়ে ছিল শুধুমাত্র কিছু কাঠ হয়ে। এক বেলার মধ্যে ওই একফালি শান্ত সবুজ পরিণত হয়েছিল এক বঞ্জর জমিতে। শীঘ্রই সেখানে গড়ে উঠবে এক আধুনিক বাসস্থান।
সেই বিকেলে যখন পাখিরা ফিরল, তাদের বাসা খুঁজে পেল না তারা। গাছ দুটো পরে আছে মাটিতে। আর, যেই বাসায় তারা ফিরে এসেছিল, তা আর নেই। বেজীরা বুঝল না, তাদের নিশ্চিন্তে লুকানোর জায়গাটা হঠাত্ কোথায় গেল। পাখির কলতান সেদিন বলছিল না তাদের সারাদিনের গল্প, তা শুধু বলছিল তাদের বিস্ময় মাখানো হতাশার কথা। কোন সুর ছিল না তাতে, ছিল শুধু গৃহহীন হওয়ার বেদনা, কান্না। বহুদিনের পরিশ্রমে একটি একটি খড়-কুটো জোগাড় করে তারা যেখানে বানিয়েছিল তাদের বাসা, এক নিরাপদ আশ্রয়, সেখানে এখন একটা একটা ইট দিয়ে গড়ে উঠবে অন্য কারোর বাড়ি। রাত পর্জন্ত তারা ব্যার্থ আশায় খুঁজে চলল, নালিশ জানাল। তারপর ক্লান্ত হয়ে ফিরে গেল, হেরে গেল। চলে গেল তারা। প্রকৃতি চিরতরের জন্যে ফিরিয়ে নিল মুখ। আর কোনো বসন্তে ডাকবে না কোন কোকিল সেখানে, ডিম পারার জন্যে কাকের বাসাটাই তো আর নেই।

শুধু আমরা কোনদিনও বোঝার চেষ্টা করলাম না যে আমাদের বাড়ির ভীত আমরা গড়ে তুলছি অন্য কারোর বাড়ির ধ্বংসাবশেষে।।